Going on a drive along the east coast, windows down, feeling the breeze brush your cheeks. “Hey, which song should we play next?” As you’re about to speak up and say something, someone else answers before you. You realize you’re sitting in the back seat. You’re not the driver, and not even in the passenger seat. All you can do is nod and be supportive of the song they selected. You rest your head on the seat, close your eyes, and let your imagination take you away.

The Back Seat: What Is It?

When I say back seat, I’m referring to the same back seat that’s in a car. When you’re in a car, it’s the people in the front seat who call all the shots. In the end, they control the music, the temperature, and get you to the final destination. In most cars, they’re also the only ones who get airbags and heated seats! All the attention is on the “front seaters”, but what about the “back seaters”? Sure, sometimes backseaters get a bad reputation for things like back seat driving, but often they do more good than harm, like provide stimulating conversation, give the people in the front seat snacks, and for the benefit of everyone in the car, they remind people that bathrooms and rest stops do exist! Though they often go unnoticed, people in the back seat actually play a very large supporting role in getting from point A to B.

Now think about your relationships. Backseaters are your cheerleaders. They are “yes people” and put you in front of themselves. They make your dreams and goals their number one priority. They don’t get much attention and never want to take the spotlight off you, but they play a huge supporting role in make sure you succeed. So, thinking about your parents, siblings, significant other and friends, can you spot any backseaters in your life?

Dear front seaters,

Thank you for speaking up. Thank you for sharing your crazy ideas and coming up with new ones all the time. It must be exhausting, but you take one for the team, always being in the spotlight. Be happy that there is someone to help you with you dreams and support you in reaching your end goals. They are there to help you plan and make a list of things for you to do. They make sure that you follow through with your ideas and ensure your dreams become reality. Maybe they don’t ask for recognition or say anything at all, but be thankful. Show them you are appreciative of what they do and what they give, because they’re probably not used to it at all. Be supportive of their dreams as well. It may be hard for them to express themselves, but use your experience of being in the front to help them out!

Dear back seaters,

You know it is okay for you to have dreams too, right? I know you’re shy, and I know you probably think that your idea is not worth anyone’s time, but trust me… If you try speaking up people will listen to you. It’s a process, it takes time to be heard, but it’s worth it. You also probably think you’re a burden when you speak of your dreams, but you’re not - you’re just contributing. It’s okay to be in the spotlight here and there, you’re allowed to shine too! You’ve done so much boosting others up, you’re their cheerleader and they know it. They may not show that they need you, but you step in and you still help. Though they never ask for help, you know when to help them.

The best relationships are where there is a balance. I’ve heard this numerous times, but I finally get it. Imagine if there were 2 dreamers who always wanted to be in the spotlight - it would be a total mess! You could definitely have 2 dreamers, but one person would have to give up their spotlight just a bit or at least take turns being in the front. I am so happy that I’ve seen this growing up where there is a balance, where both my parents are supportive of one another’s dreams and take turns being in the spotlight. Even with my siblings, everyone had their time to be in the spotlight. As a result of this balance and people taking turns, no one tried to take the attention off the others, and instead everyone supported the person in front to ensure their success. By now, I hope you’re starting to think about who the back seaters and front seaters are in your life, and no matter which one you are, here’s to supporting others in making their dreams come true!

Keep the hype going.

Yours truly,

The trunk